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Buffy Summers, Ellen Ripley, Nancy Thompson, and Laurie Strode are just but some of the greatest final girls of pop culture, but what else do they all have in common? They all (at some point) met their maker at the hands of horror. Everyone's time comes, and with the return of Sarah Paulson as #AmericanHorrorStory fan-favorite Lana Winters — but is it time for the journalist to stop singing the name game and throw out her pen for good?
As #FX's horror anthology wraps its seventh season with the finale, it looks like we have swapped the Roanoke house for an #AmericanCrimeStory courtroom and follow-up documentary. It all sounds a bit snooze snooze considering this is #RyanMurhpy's notoriously violent show. However, AHS should have at least one more kill under its belt, so get ready everybody — Winters is coming!
Consecrate the land with "Bludd."
Putting aside the Angela Bassett skewer from "Chapter 9," the promo for the finale shows that Adina Porter's Lee has become an O.J. Simpson-esque legend. Let's not forget though, before Lee left that spooky Roanoke house, she found herself eating hearts from Scratchyhat's hand and channeling some serious Butcher realness. As Lee awoke in the grounds of Roanoke to be rescued by police, she seemed to have no recollection of her murderous spree. However, Sarah Paulson's Audrey Tindall had no problem remembering what really happened, but was sadly shot to an early grave for it. We can guess that Lee will be exonerated of her crimes, and next week will be back to tell her side of the story. Now with Audrey out of the way, the finale also perfectly lines up for the return of Paulson's other character this season, Lana Winters.
When we last saw Ms. Winters she recalling the horrors of Briarcliff Manor on the other side of the interview, but now it looks like she is living her dream of being a hard-hitting journo. Lana was aged 75 at the time, and it was set in 2013, so we can assume the latest exposé will pick up in 2016 — still broadcasting at her age, Lana is the Betty White of investigative journalism!
As you may remember, the last interview had Lana being cornered by her son/Bloody Face II, Johnny Morgan. After a lifetime of abandonment issues, Morgan had taken on the mantle of psycho killer which his father had left behind. Lana had already put one Bloody Face in the ground, and it wasn't long before she shot her own son in the cranium. Cold, hard, final girl. However, no one escapes Horror Story unharmed, and while some might think being raped by a necromaniac serial killer and fathering his crazy bastard is more than enough punishment, the horror for Lana could just be beginning.
Set the scene: Lana Winters happily conducts her interview with Lee, only to find the room a little chilly (she is 78, bless her). Winters goes to close the window, pulling aside the drapes she sees that tonight is THE night, and there is a big red blood moon lighting up the sky. Cut back to the still possessed Lee as she swings her cleaver one more time into the swan-like neck of Sarah Paulson — night night Lana.
The show certainly doesn't hold back on killing so-called survivors. The fifth season of AHS — Hotel — killed off the real-estate character Marcy (Christine Estabrook) whom we met back in Season 1. More shockingly, we had a repeat performance from Gabourey Sidibe's Queenie in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance. Sidibe's voodoo doll witch soon became lunch for a ravenous Ramona Royale vampire. Murphy clearly has no loyalty to his characters, but that is why we love the show!
Third Time Lucky
Of course Lana's final girl credentials set her in a pretty good stance for escaping the horrors of Roanoke alive, Winters could be the rare Sidney Prescott (from Scream) of the group. The show does tend to deliver justice in its own sick way, and Lee fully admitted her guilt to killing husband Mason on some MIA video tapes. The promo says that the interview is live, so could Winters expose Lee's guilt in front of millions — The Jinx style?
Otherwise, the show will do the same stunt as last time *yawn*. Lana will put a bullet in the skull of Butcher Lee before she can consecrate that Shining-like carpet with Lana's "bludd," but where would the fun be in that? Personally I always found Lana a bit sickly — having lived a rich and fulfilling life, so now is the time to let her go!