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Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'House on Willow Street' (2016)

House on 'Dragging the Fucking Plot' Street...

By Reed AlexanderPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
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I wanted to like this movie. It had everything needed for decent horror. The acting was pretty solid for horror. I know that bar is low but these guys did a good job. The atmosphere was dark and gritty, even grimy. It only takes place in two settings, an abandoned warehouse and a small mansion. But both settings feel alive. They're not quite as impressive as Crimson Peak, but then, those are big shoes to fill. That set had a pulse. This one had lots of rust and black mold.

The plot and the overarching story weren't even the problem. They weren't simple, but they were well thought out, even a bit brilliant. If you've seen Rights of Spring you know that movie starts out with a kidnapping gone wrong then turns into a fight for survival against supernatural forces. The execution was shit, but the concept was solid. This movie takes a similar approach. But rather than the supernatural happening in spite of a botched kidnapping, the supernatural happens because the kidnapping goes off without a hitch. Rights of Spring is basically two movies forcefully squished together. The botched kidnapping had fuck all to do with the actual horror movie that starts halfway through the fucking movie. It's confusing and paced terribly. This movie made none of those mistakes. First off, it ties the kidnapping into the horror seamlessly. Second, the kidnapping was nothing more than a way to introduce the character into the plot. That was it. It takes up maybe fifteen minutes of the fucking movie then moves the fuck on.

This movie really did everything right but like Rights of Spring the execution was the problem. They just fucked up a different part of it. Where Rights of Spring tried to shoehorn two unrelated plots together, this move tried to "drag the plot kicking and screaming." House on Willow Street wasn't going to let a thing like writing itself into a corner, or the total abandonment of common fucking sense, prevent it from moving the story along. It just makes your head hurt. It makes your head hurt so fucking bad.

I simply can't recommend this movie. The concept is right. Someone could do it right. This was total garbage.SPOILERS!!!

The places this movie is guilty of dragging the plot are actually unforgivable. It gives the protagonists too many opportunities and REASONS to bail, but they inexplicably keep trying to execute the job. The first place this is absolutely unforgivable is when the leader of this group orders two others to go back to the mansion where they just performed a kidnapping. Ex-fucking-cuse me? What fucking moron goes back to the scene of an extremely high profile felony?! Look, if they set these characters up as clowns who were in over their head, that could potentially make sense, but they set them up as career criminals. As fucking professionals. This isn't their first time to the rodeo, and any common thug with a wrap knows you don't return to the scene of the fucking crime. And the reason they do it? Because they can't get the parents of the girl they just kidnapped to answer the phone. Even if they strung this scene out over DAYS, and the parents never answered the call, they would have blindfolded the girl, dumped her off in the middle of a field, and fucking bailed. But the problem was, they needed some of the kidnappers to return to the mansion to discover two dead priests and two dead parents. That's a pretty tight corner to write yourself into and you gotta ask yourself if you should have kept writing at that point. That's a script you ball up and throw out.It gets worse...So the group finds out that the parents are dead and there are also two dead priests. And they find a video of the girl using demonic powers to kill them. The whole thing details how she's possessed by a powerful demon. Nothing else should have happened at that point. They should have just bailed. Even if they didn't believe the girl was possessed, the death of her parents makes them accessories. This is the point you just walk the fuck away. You don't even unchain the bitch you just kidnapped. You just walk the fuck away and place an anonymous phone call from a burner phone. That's two completely unforgivable corners.

We haven't even gotten to the plot holes.So the girl gets possessed without ever coming into contact with the demon physical. It's supposed to just prey upon her guilt 'til it gets inside of her. The second person it possesses it gets into the same way. Only this time it physically manifests itself for some odd reason and tongue fucks one of the kidnappers. Gruesome as that is, it seemed needless. But then, all of the sudden, the girl needs to be the one doing the actual tongue fucking. But wait a minute. The demon got the girl without even needing to be physical, then got the first kidnapper without the girl, but now all the sudden it specifically needs the girl? Why?! This is, by no means, the only offensive plot hole. Like when a kidnapper could have put a bullet in the back of the girl's head but instead tries to throw her in a choke hold.

But the movie isn't done being unforgivable yet...

Throughout the movie the female kidnapper is given subtle help from the ghost of her dead mother. First off, how the fuck does that work? Everyone else's guilt preys on them, some of them literally being assaulted by its manifestation. Her guilt starts helping her? But isn't the demon the one manifesting the guilt? Why the fuck would the demon manifest a helpful ghost? And the final nail in the coffin of this absolute shit show is when the ghost of the mother just walks up and wholesale kills two possessed kidnappers. This movie could, AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST, have the balls to kill everyone off. But no. Mommy to save the day. What the actual fuck...Do not watch.

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About the Creator

Reed Alexander

I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Monday.

@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Threads, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.

Check out my books on Godless: https://godless.com/products/reed-alexander

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