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Hello world, my name is Ollie, and I am dead. Actually, I am a ghost, spirit, or some might say guardian angel. I died at a very young age. I was seven-years-old and so full of life. I know I was a special child and it was not just because my daddy always told me so. I knew I was special because I had a connection with everyone I met. I also saw things that other people didn’t. I saw something the morning that I died that helped me not to be afraid of death.
The day I died started out as most of my days did. I woke up hearing my mom and dad fussing over the usual stupid stuff. I sometimes wished they would stop and realized that life was too short for that stuff. I looked out my window and saw my grandpa working in his garden. The pumpkins were getting big, and he would be gathering them to sell at the market soon. I turned around in my bed and saw this white light, an angel that I had not seen before. I was not scared of its appearance even though this angel did startle me. I got out of bed and got ready to head into the kitchen for my breakfast. We had a long day ahead of us.
My parents quit fussing, they; probably heard me close my bedroom door. They both smiled when they saw me walk into the room. It looked as if they did not suspect that I had heard them. I had this strange feeling that this day would be different. I sat at the kitchen table and my mother poured me milk and cereal. Then as I started to eat, I saw the angel again. This time I could tell this angel was a woman. I did not dare let on that I was seeing this person because I didn’t want to frighten my parents. See the last time an angel appeared to me my uncle had passed away. I think I had a link to the other side that others didn’t.
My parents told me to hurry; we were running late. My family ran a delivery service and my brother; and I would tag along when we didn’t have school. I loved tagging along because I got to meet new people sometimes. I was one of those kids that there were no strangers in life. I said, “Hello,” to everyone that I met. I think that is just one of the many reasons that my dad said I was special. Though to be honest, in my time on Earth, there was not much need to fear strangers, for the town we lived in was so small and just about everyone knew each other. Well back to what happened on this day that left my family torn apart.
That day felt so nice outside; the wind felt cool blowing through my hair. We were in September, so our temperatures were starting to drop some. The cooler temps gave us a reason to keep the windows open on our delivery van. That day we seemed to have more deliveries than usual, and we had to stop for lunch, but we ate while we were making the deliveries.
Then all at once I started feeling sick. That was it we, had to find a bathroom, I had begun throwing up. I think after the first couple of times I started feeling okay again. My parents decided that we would finish the deliveries that we had. It looked like I might have been coming down with a stomach virus or flu bug. Once we had finished the deliveries, I had started throwing up again, so my parents decided to bring me straight to the hospital.
While all of this was going on, I still had the angel sitting next to me. My angel never spoke a word to me. She just sat by my side, as if she was waiting for something to happen. We got to the hospital, and I could not walk. I was so weak, and I just could not seem to keep my eyes open. My father decided to carry me inside the hospital. It was at that moment that I knew things were bad. I looked at my dad. He was so terrified. He walked through the Emergency Room doors and looked down at me. I look up at him and saw the fear in his eyes that are now filling with tears and realize that my time with him was now over. Then when he looked down, and our eyes met, my eyes closed for the last time. As I took my last breath, I was glad to be in a place where I felt completely at peace without any fear at that moment. That moment seemed to last for a long time. My only wish at that moment was to be able to take away my father's pain. His pain was evident in the way he fell to his knees, holding me sobbing, begging for someone to help me. At that moment, my angel disappeared without a word, leaving me puzzled.
As the next few days pass by I watch the pain and torment that my family was going through from losing me. Watching as the people I loved the most gathered in the chapel to say their final good-bye, I really see how much I was loved. The hardest part was watching my grandma slowly walk up to the casket. I watched her lose her balance and then to see her collapse to the floor; was hard to witness. I think my death was just too much for her to handle. Several of my uncles missed out on their opportunity to pay their final respects since they had to run to her side. I know that was a day that my family had never expected and was not prepared for.
As the years have passed, I have gotten to watch my family grow. Births, marriages, and deaths that added and took away from those that I called my family. I don't know what to really call this place where I now exist, but it seems to be the same as if I were living. I also don't know for certain but I believe that if you are not at peace with the life that you lived then the time you have afterward would be a form of torture. A world that is your own living Hell as some would say. I have been able to help comfort family members and others when it was their time to let go of that physical being and embrace their spiritual life. I am able to communicate with those that are open to the experiences and those who seek out a connection with me. The one person that I was able to help and actually made me feel that my existence here meant something, was my father. My dad passed away a few years after myself, and I was able to help him in those final days to give him closure and allow him to be able to forgive himself over the events that led to my death. We spent days talking about things that happened since my death. We spoke of the time that he almost flipped his car because he thought he saw something in front of his vehicle when he was driving on a dirt road. I explained to him that the thing he saw on that eerie night was actually an angel that I had sent to protect him. If he had continued down that road, he would have joined me that night instead of a few years later. There was a tree that fell in the middle of the path that he was on in which if he hadn’t taken those few minutes to calm his nerves then the tree would have crushed his car. As I explained to him those events, he had a sense of relief knowing now that he wasn’t delusional that night and remembered seeing that tree that laid across the road.
I must have done something important during that time with my father because I was finally able to find a sense of peace that I did not realize I had been looking for. At the moment of his death, we both were able to see that we had made a difference in our lives and that death was not the ending but just the beginning. The angel that had helped me during my own death finally reappeared to guide us into the next phase of our existence. I now have the way to move forward and come back to visit as I wish.
Though my time with you has now come to an end, I want to leave you with the words of my grandma and say, “Y'all come back and see me now, shah.”