She's Still Here

Short Story

I can't really remember when it started, maybe yesterday or a month ago but she's still here. I see her every day and night, she doesn't talk or move, sometimes I think she doesn't even blink though I can't really tell for sure, I'm too scared to stare at her for too long. 

I find myself spending more and more time at home. My phone keeps on beeping with messages from my friends asking me to go out, if everything is ok with me, they say I look paler and skinnier but I can't really tell. It's been a while since I looked at myself in the mirror because she has chosen the bathroom as her favourite place in the house.

There was one day, that I freaked out and started throwing things at her, "Leave me alone!" I kept screaming but her never changing gray eyes fixed on me, pulled me down into desperation and I ran outside in the middle of the night not even noticing my bare feet on the snow. The cold wind hit me and brought me back to my senses. Maybe it was my stressful job that was taking the best out of me, so I went back home. The skin on my limbs already burning red from the cold outside only to find her in the same place I had left her, standing in the middle of the living room, staring at me, not a single word was said and I just went back to bed.

Since that day I've noticed that she seems to be coming closer, I discovered her some nights ago observing me on my sleep in the dark of night, she hasn't stopped since then. She never changes her clothes and they are still wet, the dripping sound of the water coming from it is like a ticking clock counting the days I haven't seen the daylight. Why? Because here I can just be me, scream at her once in awhile, blame her for my misfortune when I feel I'm going crazy. Outside in the real world she will still haunt me anywhere I go and losing my mind in public will convince me that I'm a lunatic and I can't afford to lose my self respect along with my sanity. 

Last night I got a message from my boss, "Sorry Bill, we can't afford having you on leave of absence any longer. Take care and good luck!" I threw the computer to the side and went to bed. In the middle of the night, she came in bed with me, I could feel the blankets moving slowly and her weightless body lying next to me. I gave my back to her and tried to sleep even though I knew her eyes wouldn't close or turn away, that's when I made up my mind and decided I needed to do something about it before I lose control of my life forever. 

I just woke up and looked for her but she isn't here anymore. I went into the washroom and there's not a single trace of her. With a painful little light of hope that she had finally moved out I ran down to the kitchen and there she was, waiting for me with her dripping blue dress and black hair. Blinded by anger, I ran towards her, my hands lifted in front of me aiming for her throat.

In my head all I want to do is make her disappear, no one will know if I take her very last breath, she has taken everything away from me, my job, my friends, and now it is time for me to claim my freedom. And just when I'm about to grab her neck between my hands she smiles, a wide psychotic smile and that's when everything comes back to me. 

I was drunk and had just come home from my secretary's apartment. Her cheap perfume still on my clothes but I couldn't care less, the woman waiting for me at home had gotten on my nerves, she tried to make me happy but there were too many demons in my head. I opened the door and there she was wearing a blue dress, her gray eyes fixed on me, tears running down her face and a single suitcase at her feet. We started arguing and she threatened me that she would leave me for good. When she tried to go out the door, I grabbed her by the hair, her dark locks tangled between my fingers. Two punches on the stomach and she's not offering any resistance anymore, the demons in my head give me all the instructions, clear and simple. The water in the bathtub starts running and soon she's as cold as winter snow.

After my remembrance I fall on my knees and asked for forgiveness, she looks down at me, the smile on her face hasn't disappeared. I feel her cold skinny fingers running through my hair and I know she will never go away.

I can't really remember when it started, maybe yesterday or a month ago but she's still here...

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