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There's a strange thing about hiding underneath the blankets. There's a sense of safety, even when there is none. We feel safe, because we believe we are unseen, even if we aren't. There's a sense of safety in being invisible. Then there is companionship. We feel safe in numbers even though we should feel more like cattle being led to the slaughter. I hold on to Violence tight to my chest underneath the blankets, and feel that false safety and think, are we ever safe? Another thing that tricks you into feeling safe is silence. That long terrifying silence that feels like the ending of a storm to find that it has truly begun. Silence was in that hospital room even over the thumping of my heart and my heavy breathing there was silence. Yet then there's the heat. The heat of another being that makes companionship, but I didn't have that. I had fire.
The room was sweltering to the point I thought I was going to burst. Then it was gone. Ashes along the floor. The shadow man was on my side of the hospital room, he held me close to his chest away from the other figure. The other figure was made of light, but came to be the more I looked. White waves of hair became visible, so did two pure white eyes. For some reason, I feared him more. He was cold while the shadow was sweltering. The smile was soft, but only at me, the second he looked up at the creature it became cold as if carved from stone. It sang, oh it sang so very beautifully. Yet the shadow man hissed, and it grated my ears making them bleed.
He stopped then whispered the sound of secrets surrounding us all. They both nodded. The shadow man placed me on the bed gently then closed his eyes and created three shadows in his hands. He hissed at the light man and turned his back on us. The light man smiled down at me then did the same, spreading his golden wings and doing something. The shadow man then turned to me and Violence, and came close to us making me flinch back. He slowly knelt down and showed me the tree shadows. I was surprised to see that they were all charms now. Pretty little charms that had dark dark purposes. One was a dragon, which was wrapped around a heart. Another was a dark crown that looked a lot like a jesters hat. The last one was a flame. That was all. A flame. A dark, consuming flame that pulled me in like nothing else had. The light man came towards us, and I ducked behind the shadow man. I felt the same hidden in his shadows, than exposed in the other's light. He looked hurt for a moment, but held out his hand to show another three charms. One was a light crown that looked quite heavy, another was a flower, and the last one was a sword.
The two male figures touched, creating a chain, partially black, partially white with all the charms on it. The light man wrapped the bracelet around my tiny arm and locked it. The shadow man petted my hair before forlornly stepping away and disappearing all together. The light man was still there though. Peering into the deepest parts of me, parts I didn't want seen by him. I pulled Violence closer to me and scooted into the pillows. He stepped forward and stroked my hair one time before kissing my forehead, and letting out a single tear to run down his cheek. He caught it and put it to my lips, to which I tried to pull away. He forcefully opened my mouth and the tears ran down, my thoughts giving me a peaceful and perfect feeling as if I was finally alive. Light poured out from my eyes, consuming my being, sending freezing light though me. I passed out from the feeling. For the first time, I didn't feel alone.
As I woke up, I could feel something within me. I looked around to see I was back in the car with my mother, with Violence in the seat next to me. My mother peeked back concerned, but once she saw that I was up her cold and determined stare returned. My head hurt so much. I couldn't get the whispering to stop. The voices, the ones in my head were arguing. They fought with each other so very viciously trying to get out of my head, and I tried to expel them, but they just wouldn't go! I picked up Violence and curled into the door, whimpering and trying to fight the intruders in my head.
“Violence, why does it hurt so much? How do I get them out? I want them out,” I whispered to her.
Her eyes showed my pain. Out of her eye ran a tear of red blood and I followed along with her. We both cried in the back of the car, but there was nothing we could do. The feeling of hopelessness returned.
“You can't, darling girl, you can't. They're part of you now. One day you’ll need them. One day you’ll love them,” she whispered to me.
I continued to cry and hold my head, rocking back and forth as the whispers grew louder. I tried to think but there was no room to do so. I couldn't tell where they ended and where I began. The feeling was daunting as if I was losing myself.
“Don’t cry…” a voice said.
I noticed the noise. My head was silent. The sound on hearts beating confused me and scared me. Were there people inside my head? I did not want them knowing my thoughts. My thoughts are mine!
“G-g-get O-out!” I scream, my small hands pounding on my head and breaking the skin of my forehead.
I curled into myself and tried to scream to get them out. My thoughts mixed with theirs. Images of darkness and blood and gore clawed at my consciousness. I look out of the window in desperation to see a soft guiding white hand next to the clawed black one. I press my hand to the glass, begging, hoping that they would help. As soon as I did, it was all gone. My head was free of the voices and screams and silence, I had my thoughts. I could still feel a chain linking me to something else, making me feel less alone, but I remembered myself. I leaned against the glass tiredly and sighed. The hands did not leave. They held onto the glass until I was almost asleep. Then one reached through and petted my hair.
“Were going to Thgil, Amos. You cant stop me!” Mother yelled through the phone when I came back to my senses. I paid no mind to the conversation, she always yelled.
“Do you think it may be something important?” asked Violence. I shook my head.
“Is anything anymore.”
Rue learns a little more about the dark and shadowy creature that seems to guard her. She also has her first episode of the consequences that come with her newly found power.