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The Ultimate Christmas Horror Movie Trilogy

Three Yuletide Horror Classics...Just in Time for Christmas

By Carlos GonzalezPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Hello, one and all.

So...if you're like me and need a break from the TNT A Christmas Story marathon and like some nightmare imagery to go with your eggnog and candy canes, have I got a Christmas horror trilogy for you!

Halloween is when I always do my annual Horrorthon where I re-watch some classic horror films, and this year I even reviewed many of these films for posterity. I generally relegate my entertainment to G-rated shit ranging from How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty The Snowman, The Night Before Christmas, to PG-rated stuff to The Simpsons Christmas Special and The Carol Burnett Show. But there are three special movies for the season. Yes, there are many others, such as Black Christmas (1974), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), Jack Frost (1997), Christmas Evil (1980), and if you forget the fact that it has no horror-themed scares....Die Hard with Bruce Willis from 1988. But these are the three absolute classics that I would recommend for the season. Well, OK, two of them if you forgive one for its amateurish execution. And here we ho ho ho...

Yes, I was obviously referring to this one. Directed by Charles Sellier Jr. and released in December of 1984, this was the film that brought the slasher/horror subgenre major scrutiny for depicting one of its most sacred symbols; St. Nicholas AKA Santa Claus as an axe-wielding psychopath who goes on a blood bath rampage on the day that our alleged Savior was born. I do remember how much controversy this film generated in its initial release with parents, teachers, church-folk and clergy voicing their hostile rage over the film's obviously tasteless premise. I even remember a special TV episode of the late Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert critic show denouncing the film openly and even its studio Tri-Star Pictures (AKA the Pegasus studio) for distributing it.

I was only 12 years old when the film was released, but chose, and still choose, to be ambivalent about the subject. In my honest and still holds true to this day, Santa Claus is a public domain character who is a human personifying a mere symbol. Certainly, I refuse to begrudge the protests made about the film, but realistically, I don't and haven't objected to the demonization of such a character since its not (exactly) Jesus and wasn't exactly deifing Satan either.

So, why is this film on my short list? No other reason than I haven't seen the film Black Christmas from 1974, which starred Olivia Hussey and Keir Dullea and had the interesting distinction of being directed by the late Bob Clark who would almost repent, direct, and give us a much happier Christmas movie nine years later with "A Christmas Story" ("You'll shoot your eye out!"). Another interesting fact is that this film was the original holiday horror film long before John Carpenter's seminal masterpiece: Halloween (1978) was released. But I digress. I have indeed seen this one and my final verdict is...it's crappy shit!

OK, all the protests were for a film that frankly wasn't even worth any of them. The plot gist was a young boy who gets a creepy message from his ailing, dying grandfather who warns him that Santa is a killer who punishes "naughty" children with bloody murder. No surprise, he witnesses his mother and father murdered by a lunatic in a Santa Claus suit and is forced to endure abuse in an orphanage run by a sadistic Catholic nun. Years later as an adult, his job as a department store Santa Claus causes him to snap and go on a killing spree. If there's any positive things to say, is that like most 1980s slasher movies, it got creative with its murder scenes, an umbrella, antelope antlers, Christmas tree lights and a crossbow are the unique weapons of choice.

Final verdict? I give credit for the attempt, but it's kind of a toss-up. Still, it's the one horror film (the first mainstream one actually) to be daring enough to feature St. Nick as a serial killer.

The Controversial Movie's Poster From 1984!

This summer blockbuster used Christmas and small towns as its backdrop. It was produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Joe Dante, and written by Chris Columbus. It satirized the saccharine, sentimental mawkishness of the holidays, all the while turning the horror/comedy genre on its ear.

The plot gist. A teenager gets a sweet, yet unusual present. A "Mogwai" creature his father found at a basement Chinatown shop. It's the nicest present anyone could ask for, with the only issue in that it requires three major rules for maintenance:

No Sunlight or Bright Lights.

No Water.

It Cannot Be Fed After Midnight.

This being a horror/comedy hybrid, the main rule is that there will be no movie if the rules are kept. Sure enough, they are all broken and they metamorphosize into scaly, green, long-fanged monsters who terrorize this small town during the yuletide season. A few of the highlights include, a gremlin caught in the microwave as the house's owner defends her kitchen. A Scrooge-y older bitch bully who has the whole town under her thumb gets her just desserts when the beasties mess with her electric stair lift. And then, there's that bar scene!

In wrapping, Gremlins is that one movie that can be enjoyed this season or even on Halloween, or...hell, anytime. It's still one of the best horror movies to be set at Christmastime. But, in 2015, a game changer was released!

The Now-Famous 1984 Poster!

Retaining much of the same elements as Joe Dante's 1984 contempo-classic, this Michael Dougherty directed movie took the classic German-Bavarian myth/legend of a half-man/half-goat demon creature who punishes the naughty children on Christmas. It starts out almost joyfully ripping the obvious Christmas commercialism as a mall is stampeded by greedy shoppers and a pageant gets ruined Home Alone-style by the young hero at the center of the story played by Emjay Anthony.

The young boy's extended family are all there for Christmas dinner and to bitch and moan about the futility of Christmas. The boy, who still believes in Santa, has written a impassioned letter to him, which gets confiscated by one of his odious cousins and is then read at the dinner table, humiliating him in the process. In anger and haste, he denounces Christmas and tears the letter up, which gets the attention of the human-goat-demon who proceeds to teach him and his crazy family the value of the Christmas Spirit.

In one key, brilliant scene, the boy's German-speaking grandmother relates the Krampus legend to the family told strictly through CGI animation, which of course, then, gets balked at as a crazy-granny-craves-attention-and-is-in-need-of-a-nursing-home moment; until weird things begin happening with trees, the central heating system, snowmen appearing out of nowhere, strange toys that come to life to eat the family alive and my personal favorite; killer gingerbread men!

I did enjoy every minute of this movie and am still awaiting word if there's a potential future sequel in the works. Probably not, but hey, no worries in having this movie as the one true definitive Christmas horror comedy.

Seasons Slayings, everyone!

The Now Iconic Image From The 2015 Poster!

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About the Creator

Carlos Gonzalez

A passionate writer and graphic artist looking to break into the BIG TIME! Short stories, scripts and graphic art are my forte! Brooklyn N.Y. born and raised. Living in Manchester, Connecticut! Working on two novels now!

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